Question: Who is the intended audience?
Answer: Anyone interested in improving their ability to manage conflict and hold difficult conversations will benefit from reading Unlikely Teachers.

Q: What is the book about?
A: This book on Aikido and conflict is a practical tool to help the reader generate more power, presence, and flow in their relationships and in their life. Aikido is a martial art that views a physical attack as a gift of energy. Unlikely Teachers applies the Aikido metaphor to non-physical conflict—what we might call life’s “attacks”—such as arguments, everyday hassles, and the more serious problems we all face at some point in our lives.

Q: Why are you the best person to write this book?
A: I have been a writer, workshop leader, and black belt in Aikido for over 15 years and teach internationally on conflict transformation—the conversion of difficult challenges into useful energy.

Q: How is this book different from other books on this topic?
A: Unlikely Teachers is more than a “how-to” book. It offers personal stories, reflection, and direction on how to manage ourselves in difficult moments.

Q: Anything else we should know about this book?
A:One of my favorite things about Unlikely Teachers is its focus on practice. It offers simple, profound ways to begin to re-pattern responses to conflict that no longer work. Leadership author, Margaret Wheatley, endorsed the book saying:

This book is deliciously wise. It’s filled with stories that delight and teach in the same moment. And its wisdom, which is eternal, illuminates the path that leads us out of conflict and into deeper relationship with others and with ourselves.

Q: What is the book about?
A: Getting a good deal got a whole lot more difficult with the recession. Customers are demanding that they get a better deal from you. But, you also have to negotiate a good deal for your company. Strong negotiation skills are a must to survive this economy intact, but very few sales people are great negotiators. Negotiation Rules! offers a practical approach for sales people and small business executives who must provide a good deal to their customers while also meeting their own profit margins.

Q: Why are you the best person to write this book?
A: Having negotiated a variety of deals as an attorney and professional mediator I saw what worked and what didn’t work at the bargaining table. Mediation is the perfect vehicle for seeing successful negotiation techniques in action. When I began training and coaching my clients, they all had tremendous success negotiating deals using the techniques that I used as a professional mediator. I began collecting their success stories to share with others, and Negotiation Rules! was created.

Q: How is this book different from other books on this topic?
A: Negotiation Rules! is a practical guide for the real world deal. It is packed with success stories from real clients facing real challenges. There are no gimmicks in this book; just down to earth techniques that successful negotiators use to land terrific deals. Negotiation Rules! is laid out in an easy to read style. It can be read from cover to cover or by choosing the one chapter that answers your pressing question.

Q: Is there anything else we should know about this book?
A: Chapter 4 Negotiating Money Diagrams and Chapter 12 Planning Worksheets are available for free by visiting the shopping cart at www.jnyden.com.

Question: Who is the intended audience?
Answer: Anyone who wants to save money on items they purchase. The average person can save thousands a year by negotiating ordinary things like dinners at restaurants, clothing at stores and gas for your car.

Q: What is the book about?
A: How would you like an extra $5,000 or more a year? This money can be earned simply by becoming a better negotiator, yet most people in the United States rarely take advantage of the power of bargaining except on rare occasions when making large purchases like cars and houses. In other countries, like Asia, people there negotiate everything everyday and save thousands.

Negotiating is like a martial arts contest where power, leverage and timing can mean the difference between winning and losing. For instance, a martial artist would never go into a contest without first spying on his opponent to find weaknesses. In the same way, you can gain bargaining power by doing your homework. If you’re buying a diamond ring, for example, find out how long the ring has been on display, the standard profit margin on jewelry and how badly the owner wants to sell it. Finding answers to questions like these could save a lot of money.

Before engaging in contest a martial artist warms up by stretching. Likewise, a savvy negotiator warms up by building rapport and finding common ground with the other party, because people like to do business with people they like.

Next, fighters will cautiously probe each other looking for weaknesses. In bargaining this is done by throwing offers onto the table to see how the other party reacts. Experienced fighters often use guile to lure their opponents into range by pretending a blow has hurt them more than it really did. Similarly, a negotiator could pretend to be shocked by an opponent’s offer to get her to come up or go down in price. Visibly showing surprise or hurt is called flinching and it used by master bargainers to gain concessions without giving up anything.

Martial artists are taught to read the body language of their opponents so they can see a blow before it is unleashed. Experienced negotiators can literally read the other party’s mind by watching body language and listening carefully. If a seller says, “My price is $500 but make me an offer” you know their price is flexible before you even start. Without saying a word their body language can also tell you if they like or dislike any offer you make.

Martial artists do not believe in win-win and neither should you. Even when sparring their best friends they want to give their best effort. When bargaining, fight for the best deal possible assuming that the other party will take care of themselves because they will.

Fighters are supremely aware of time and try to use it to their advantage by saving as much energy as possible for the last few seconds of a round when they can score points against a tired opponent. Black belt negotiators put their opponents under time pressure by setting deadlines. A car buyer might visit the dealership only an hour before a doctor’s appointment so the dealer must give his best offer before the customer leaves, likely never to return.

In martial arts, as in life, there are unfair fighters who will do anything to win, so you must protect yourself at all times. Negotiators must be aware of unfair tactics such as nibbling, which is asking for concessions after an agreement has been reached. If this happens to you just remember this blocking technique, “Before you give a concession – get a concession.” For example, if a seller says, “Couldn’t you give me just twenty five dollars more because I’m not making any money on this deal?” you can respond with, “If I did, would you throw in the extended warranty?”

Finally, when a contest ends, fighters will bow to each other as a sign of respect as if to say, “You were a worthy opponent” which makes both contestants feel good whether they won or lost. Negotiators should also congratulate the other party for having gotten a good deal. Otherwise he might change his mind and go back on the agreement.

Just like becoming an accomplished martial artist, achieving black belt status in negotiating takes practice. Every time you pull out your wallet ask yourself if this is an opportunity to hone your bargaining skills. If it is – get out there and earn a black belt!

Q: Why are you the best person to write this book?
A: Michael Soon Lee, MBA, is a black belt who has bargained around the world on everything from multi-million dollar real estate transactions to health care discounts and even reducing tax bills with the Internal Revenue Service.

Q: How is this book different from other books on this topic?
A: No other book shows readers how to apply martial arts secrets to every day bargaining situations using a logical, step-by-step system going from white belt to black belt. Just some of the secrets you will learn include: “Spying On Your Opponent”, “Reading Your Opponent’s Mind” and “Win-Win Is For Losers.”

Q: Is there anything else we should know about this book?
A: If you follow the techniques in this book you will be able to improve your negotiating skills, substantially upgrade your lifestyle, as well by saving thousands of dollars a year on regular purchases and tens of thousands on major ones.