Question: Who is the intended audience?
Answer: This is an easy to read and apply self-help book. It is suitable for anyone experiencing problems in their relationships whether that is at home or at work. Stop Being Pushed around: A Practical Guide is a tool for people to utilize if they believe that they are stuck in a rut and who feel unable to move on and progress in their relationships. It is a down to earth, commonsense book which is void of jargon.

Q: What is the book about?
A: The book is about the role of victim and survivor in relationships.

A ‘victim’ is someone who believes they have no control of their life.
A ‘victim’ believes that he/she can do nothing right.
A ‘victim’ believes that no-one really cares for them.
A ‘victim’ is always negative.
A ‘victim’ is waiting for someone to rescue them.
A ‘victim’ puts pressure on their partner to make everything all-right for them.
A ‘victim’ opts out of life.
A ‘victim’ is fearful.
A ‘victim’ is insecure.
A ‘victim’ is usually depressed or anxious.
A ‘victim’ feels under constant threat of something bad happening.
A ‘victim’ sabotages positive thinking and behavior.
A ‘victim’ is distrustful.
A ‘victim’ waits for disasters to occur.
A ‘victim’ will have emotional problems.
A ‘victim’ may turn to drugs or alcohol as a means of escape.
A ‘victim’ will be isolated from friends and family.
A ‘victim’ will withdraw from real life.

Q: Why are you the best person to write this book?
A: I have lived my life as a victim for many years. I have learned ‘the hard way’ how to stop being a victim and transfer to being a survivor. It is an empowering journey of self discovery.

I have been a mental health professional for 25 years. For the first 15 years I was employed by the Social Services Department in the UK and for remaining 10 years I worked as a Counselor in the primary healthcare setting. I have counseled countless numbers of people, during this period, who have become victims in their relationships.

All of the people I counseled didn’t realize that they were victims and believed that they had no control over their lives. Progressing from victim to survivor requires hard work on the part of the victim. It is achievable and the rewards are great. You are no longer under the control of another person. You are free to think and be the way you really are deep down without experiencing the pressure of control from your partner.

To find out is you are a victim please answer these questions.

· Do you feel able to discuss issues in your relationship with your partner?
· Does your partner ridicule you, humiliate you?
· Does your partner ‘play up’ if you are invited out with friends?
· Does your partner hold the financial purse strings in your relationship?
· Do you tend to agree with your partner rather than face the aggressive outcome if you do not agree?
· Does your happiness in your relationship depend on your partner’s mood?
· Do you feel trapped in your relationship?
· Do you think that you should stay in the relationship because you believe you cannot cope alone?
· Are you afraid of your partner?

Here are some examples of positive responses a victim can choose to make on how to deal with living with someone who, you feel, is controlling you:

· Take control of you and your life.
· Don’t be afraid to show your feelings. Learn when it is appropriate to do this.
· Encourage open discussions, to enable you both to have a better understanding of each other’s point of view.
· Realise you are never going to get it right so stop trying.
· Be reasonable, flexible and fair in your responses – but know when enough is enough (you will know when this happens by the feeling in your gut that screams – stop).
· Treat yourself kindly.
· Acknowledge how much you have achieved.
· Don’t be afraid to recognise your needs, wants and desires – you have a right to them.
· Accept that you ‘can’t have it all’ but make sure you ‘get some.’
· Take charge of you and know that any change you want to achieve in your life is up to you.

Question: Who is the intended audience?
Answer: A Perfectly Funny Marriage appeals to both singles who are interested in relationships and marriage and also to married couples.

Q: What is the book about?
A: A Perfectly Funny Marriage helps readers to explore the pre-marital stages of self-discovery, friendship, and relationship building, as well as many aspects of marriage. Each page includes a single step for success illustrated by an insightful and funny cartoon. The steps include such important topics as being honest, building unity in spite of differences, and practicing partnership with home and parenting responsibilities. The cartoons guarantee you will laugh at the humorous aspects of every serious step. For example, a cartoon showing a husband discouraging his wife kissing him while reading a book about how to be more romantic demonstrates how to “be romantic with one another and increase intimacy between you…”.

Q: Why are you the best person to write this book?
A: I’m (Susanne M. Alexander) a relationship and marriage coach with a passion for educating people in unique ways about how to be successful. Humor is a great way to facilitate learning. Besides which, research shows that couples who have fun together are more likely to stay together!

Q: How is this book different from other books on this topic?
A: This is the first relationship and marriage education cartoon book on the market.

Q: Is there anything else we should know about this book?
A: Through this book, I want people who are not yet married to learn the steps for how to be successfully married. I also want married couples to enjoy the journey back through the marriage preparation stages as well as see what will enrich their marriages now. Humor helps people to lighten up and be open to seeing what there is to learn from the characters pictured. The cartoonists help people to see what is nuts about their lives and the lives of others and cues them to look at what to do differently. I hope that the humor in A Perfectly Funny Marriage opens the door to a willingness to learn more deeply what makes a relationship and marriage work well. A good cartoon is one that still makes you smile, laugh, and think, even when you have seen it before.

I used well-known and insightful cartoonists such as Randy Glasbergen and Dave “Speed Bump” Coverly, as well as new cartoonists. Scott Haltzman, MD, author of The Secrets of Happily Married Men and The Secrets of Happily Married Women, says, “This delightful book shows how the path to a splendid marriage can be both meaningful and fun! Every couple, from their first date to their 50th wedding anniversary, should have it close at hand.”

A Perfectly Funny Marriage is available through various bookstores. For more information, including sample pages, see our website: http://www.marriagetransformation.com/store_FunnyMarriage.htm
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